Bitter Memories Read online

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  ‘For a few minutes,’ he agreed, and, turning to Tanya, said softly, ‘Would you mind very much going up alone? I won’t be long, I promise.’ He touched her chin in a gentle, affectionate gesture.

  What if she said no? What would he say then? Tanya was furious. Just as they had started to get back on a sound footing this woman had turned up and spoiled everything. But she kept her feelings well-hidden, smiling at him warmly, touching his face too. ‘I’ll look forward to it,’ she said huskily.

  She entered the lift without a glance at Inocente, trying to look every inch a woman in love, a woman confident of her man. In actual truth she wasn’t, not at all. This woman was clever and probably knew Alejandro far better than she did. She would know how to wind him round her little finger. He had said he would tell her it was all over, but Tanya doubted whether Inocente would accept it. This was probably the end. He would come up and tell her that he could not keep his word—Inocente might even come with him to make sure that she got her marching orders.

  Dejectedly she sat down on the beautiful soft leather settee, thinking that she would never see a white settee again without remembering this moment. What hurt most was that Inocente had come to his apartment to find him, and yet Alejandro had told her that he had invited no one here. So how had she known about it? It was clear she could believe nothing he said.

  It was an age before he returned. Tanya was even toying with the idea of packing her suitcase and demanding that he take her back to Matilde’s. None of it was worth the heartache. Then he walked in the door. ‘Tanya, mi cariño, I am so sorry to have kept you waiting. Inocente was not so easy to handle as I imagined.’

  ‘You mean she wouldn’t accept the fact that you want to finish with her?’ Tanya rose and faced him, no warmth or pleasure in her face. ‘I didn’t really think she would; she’s the clinging vine type. But you don’t have to worry. I’ve had time to sit and think. It wouldn’t have worked; we’re completely incompatible, you and I.’

  ‘Incompatible?’ He looked baffled by this sudden attack.

  ‘Except where things physical are concerned, of course, but where would that get us? Nowhere at all. Once you’d got it out of your system I’d be dumped again. No, Alejandro, I think it would be better all round if I went back to Matilde’s for the rest of my holiday.’

  ‘You’re not serious?’ His frown was deep, his eyes darkly incredulous. ‘Tanya—you have it all wrong. Inocente has gone. It is over, finished; she finally accepted it.’

  Tanya swallowed hard. She wanted to believe him but was not sure if she could. It was all so delicate, this relationship of theirs. She felt as though she were poised on a knife-edge all the time.

  ‘You do not believe me?’ He looked troubled by her attitude.

  ‘I’d like to, but from what little I’ve seen of Inocente I didn’t think she’d give you up that easily.’

  ‘It wasn’t easy, I agree,’ he said ‘but it’s done now; you can forget her.’ He took her into his arms and held her for several long moments, stroking the honey-gold of her hair, soothing, relaxing, instilling peace into her, until finally Tanya lifted her head and smiled into his face.

  ‘That’s better,’ he murmured, and he lifted her chin, pressing a kiss to her mouth. ‘My beautiful Tanya, don’t ever doubt anything I tell you. I would never lie.’

  Except by omission, she thought. He had never told her about Juanita, and she would not have found out if she hadn’t seen the letter from his father. But she believed now that he had told Inocente the truth, and she was happy in his arms, accepting his kiss, responding, holding him too, letting him see by actions rather than words that she believed him.

  The gala heats began at nine-thirty, and Alejandro told her that Beatriz and Crisógono were coming so she would not be alone. They had a light meal of an omelette beforehand and, even though they thought they had plenty of time, when they got to the square it was almost time for the event to start.

  Alejandro spotted his brother on the second row and left Tanya to make her way to them. ‘I’ll see you later when it’s all over,’ he murmured, his mouth close to hers, one last, intimate kiss exchanged.

  Tanya felt on top of the world again, watching him walk away. Lord, he was magnificent: tall, imposing, exciting, standing out from the crowd. And he was hers! There had been no words of love exchanged as yet, and he hadn’t made love to her again, but she was confident now. It was all coming together. She loved him and——

  A hand tapping her shoulder made her spin around, and there was Inocente, black eyes blazing, two spots of high colour in her cheeks. ‘You are looking very sure of yourself, but I can guarantee that whatever Alejandro told you it is not true.’

  ‘Really?’ Tanya lifted her chin, trying her hardest to look disdainful, even though her heart was stammering uneasily. ‘And why would he lie?’

  ‘To keep you happy—until you go back to England. And then——’ she paused to add emphasis to her words, ‘—he will be mine again.’

  CHAPTER NINE

  INOCENTE sounded so confident that Tanya felt like believing her, but Alejandro had been adamant that it was all over. The girl was lying; she had to be. ‘I think You’re wrong,’ she said coldly. ‘Alejandro and I have reached an understanding. You’re no longer a part of his life, and he told you that. Why won’t you accept it?’

  ‘Because I know what he feels for you will not last. He has had other girls before, but always he has come back to me, and he always will. So you see, you are wasting your time.’

  This sounded dangerously close to the truth—it was exactly what had happened to her in England—but surely Alejandro wouldn’t do the dirty on her a second time? Surely she could believe that his feelings for her were genuine, that this time it was going to be a permanent relationship?

  ‘You’re lying,’ she said sharply. ‘It’s yourself you’re trying to convince, not me.’ There were crowds all around them, but she was conscious of nothing except this woman with bright red lips and fingernails like talons.

  Inocente gave a shrug of her narrow shoulders. ‘If you do not believe me, wait and see. It will happen, I can promise you. Alejandro and I go back a long way; we are close, very close. I have spent many happy hours here in his apartment, as well as at his home in Orotava. There is nothing I do not know about him, and it is a fact that one day soon you will be—how do you say it in England?—you will be history.’

  There was contempt in the woman’s tone, a curl to her lips, and Tanya felt cold inside. She was strongly inclined to believe Inocente—it went along with everything she knew about Alejandro, but still she kept her chin high. ‘You can say what you like; I shall not believe you. Alejandro and I——’

  ‘Tanya! Tanya!’ Beatriz’s voice, loud and clear, reached her from her seat several yards away. ‘Come along; you will miss the beginning.’

  Relief shuddered through her as she caught Beatriz’s eye. ‘Excuse me,’ she said to Inocente. ‘I must go.’

  ‘Don’t think you are going to win,’ spat the other girl, ‘just because you have got his family on your side. Alejandro loves me, and it will not be long now before he asks me to marry him.’ With a toss of her head, her thick black hair swinging across her face, she turned and marched away.

  Tanya felt herself trembling, though whether it was with anger or relief that the confrontation was over, she did not know. Damn Inocente and her vicious tongue. Again she was left feeling extremely unsure of herself.

  She squeezed past a row of people to the vacant seat Beatriz had kept for her, sinking into it with relief, unaware that her face had gone deathly pale.

  ‘What was Inocente saying to you?’ Beatriz’s face was full of concern.

  Tanya grimaced. ‘She was warning me off your brother-in-law. Thank you for rescuing me.’

  A torrent of angry Spanish flowed from the woman’s lips, finishing finally, ‘That girl, she is bad. You must not listen. Alejandro is a fool for getting involved with her. I tell him
so, many times, but he take no notice. What it is about her I do not know, but she is evil. She has her—what do you say?—she has her nails stuck in him and she will not let go.’

  Crisógono nodded his agreement. ‘Beatriz is right; Inocente is no good. I wonder what she’s doing here.’

  ‘She came to see Alejandro,’ Tanya told him. ‘We met her earlier outside his apartment.’

  ‘And she didn’t take kindly to seeing you with him?’ Crisógono nodded his understanding. ‘That explains her attack. Don’t let it worry you, Tanya. It’s very clear to both Beatriz and me whom he prefers. We said so the other night after you’d gone, didn’t we?’ he asked his wife. ‘I haven’t seen my brother so happy in a long time.’

  And then the proceedings started and there was no time for further conversation.

  Tanya was enthralled by it all, and absolutely astounded by the lavishness and size of the costumes. Beatriz told her that they took many, many months to complete. ‘They are made by top dress designers who guard their creations with their life. The dresses have to be hinged so that they can get through the stage doors, because the designers will not even tell the organisers their dimensions. Sometimes it is difficult even for the girl to walk.’

  Tanya could see this for herself as each girl paraded about the stage. On occasions, as the contestant turned to walk this way and that, male assistants had to lift the dress and turn it for her. The girl herself was almost hidden inside a startling creation of feathers and sequins and silks of all hues and shapes.

  Even with the girl’s arms outstretched, the skirt of the costume was still at least another metre each side of her, and her striking head-dress was so tall and unwieldy that it was a wonder it stayed in place, or that her neck was strong enough to stand the weight. Each design was different, resembling a fine bird of paradise, a peacock, a butterfly, a dragon, a tree, or nothing at all, just a glittering display that took your breath away.

  ‘To make, they cost millions of pesetas,’ Beatriz informed her. ‘Different Canarian companies sponsor them, and the girls, they spend many hours in the gimnasio preparing themselves for the weight of the dresses.’

  Tanya could well believe this. She had never seen anything so extravagant as these ’dresses’ in all her life; they made the dresses sewn by Matilde look very simple indeed.

  The girls were beautiful also. Tanya had a sudden image of Alejandro watching them, eyeing them up and down. How could he not be attracted? From the waist up the girls were virtually naked, except for a spangly creation barely covering their breasts. They swayed gently to the music—as far as the weight of their outfits would let them—smiling all the time, their eyes sparkling, inviting.

  Jealousy seared through her. Would he be tempted by any of them? Would any of them be his next victim? Victim! Was that how she saw herself? The word had crept into her mind unawares, but it showed how little she trusted him, how Inocente had poisoned her mind. But so too had Charlene. Both, in their own way, had warned her off Alejandro. Shouldn’t she take some notice at least?

  ‘Something is wrong?’

  Tanya discovered that Beatriz was watching her face, seeing the conflicting emotions.

  ‘You are not enjoying it?’

  ‘Yes, yes, of course I am,’ Tanya answered immediately. ‘It was just a thought—nothing to do with the gala.’

  ‘It is Inocente who has upset you, yes?’

  Tanya lifted her shoulders, ‘A little ’

  Beatriz shook her head angrily. ‘More than a little, I would say; you must try to forget her. Do you love Alejandro?’

  Beatriz’s direct question shocked Tanya, and she looked at the other woman, wide-eyed. ‘Is it obvious?’

  ‘To me, yes,’ said the woman, smiling softly. ‘Because I love him too, as a brother-in-law, of course. He is a fine man, if a little stupid sometimes where the female sex is concerned—and I do not mean you, Tanya. You are different; you would be good for him. You are not interested in him for his money, like a lot of other girls, like Inocente. That is all she is after, I am sure.’

  ‘I’ve never thought much about money,’ Tanya agreed. She hadn’t even known that Alejandro was wealthy. Oh, he had the trappings now all right, but there had been no expensive car or designer clothes all those years ago. What did money matter where love was concerned? It certainly didn’t matter to her.

  ‘Are you seeing Alejandro later, when the judging is over?’ asked Beatriz.

  ‘He said so,’ Tanya acknowledged. Unless Inocente waylaid him first! She could see the other girl standing several yards away, apparently intent on the beautiful girls and their floating dresses, but frequently glancing in Tanya’s direction. Occasionally their eyes met, and there was such venom on the dark girl’s face that Tanya felt as though she were being beaten to the ground.

  ‘Then we will have to make sure that you get to him before Inocente.’ Beatriz glanced fiercely across at where the other girl was standing.

  Tanya had not realised that Beatriz had spotted Inocente, but now the girl looked across and saw both pairs of eyes in her direction. Her chin came up, her black hair was tossed, and a supremely confident smile curved her lips. I know what You’re thinking, she seemed to say, but I shall get to him first, don’t worry.

  Beatriz swore beneath her breath and her hand caught hold of Tanya’s, squeezing tightly. The heats drew to an end, there was a surge of movement from the audience, and Tanya lost sight of Inocente. Beatriz swept her along and whether it was by good luck or genuine management, Alejandro was suddenly at their side.

  ‘Did you enjoy that, mi cariño?’ he asked with a gentle smile, his hand finding hers and holding it firmly.

  ‘Yes, it was most enjoyable. They were wonderful creations.’

  ‘Weren’t they indeed? How the girls manage to walk in them I don’t know.’

  ‘They were very pretty girls. Have you made up your mind who’s to be in the finals?’

  ‘You didn’t hear it announced?’ He frowned faintly.

  Tanya shook her head. ‘I’m afraid Beatriz and I were talking.’

  ‘I should have known.’ His face lightened. ‘Beatriz likes to talk, and always at the wrong time. Never mind, you will see the finalists tomorrow. I have already made up my mind who I would like to win, but, of course, I am not the only member of the jury.’

  Tanya tried to imagine which girl it was he had decided would make a suitable queen of the carnaval, and in so doing felt another stab of jealousy. It was silly, she knew, but she could not help it. She simply did not trust him. And how could a relationship succeed without trust?

  As they followed the crowds Tanya caught a glimpse of an evil-looking Inocente. Her eyes were on Alejandro and she did not even notice Tanya watching her, and Alejandro, Tanya was pleased to note, did not even see the girl. Beatriz did, though, and carefully steered their small party in a different direction, and very soon Inocente was out of sight.

  ‘Are you coming back to the apartment, Cris?’ Alejandro asked his brother.

  But both he and his wife shook their head. ‘We must get home; besides, I’m sure you’d much prefer to be alone with Tanya.’

  Tanya was suddenly not sure that she wanted to be alone with Alejandro. It was this thing called trust that was bothering her. Inocente had sounded so very sure that they would get back together once she, Tanya, had returned to England. And he had said nothing about seeing her again once her holiday was over, nothing about a continued relationship. It really did seem as though he was interested only in the here and now.

  They strolled hand in hand through the streets, and everywhere people were laughing and talking excitedly. ‘You’re very quiet,’ remarked Alejandro as they ascended in the high-speed lift to his apartment.

  ‘I’m tired,’ she lied.

  ‘Then I won’t keep you up any longer. You have enjoyed tonight?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Beatriz and Cris looked after you?’

  ‘Of course.’
>
  ‘I thought you looked a bit strained.’

  Tanya shrugged. ‘There’s nothing wrong that a good night’s sleep won’t put right.’ Except that she doubted she would sleep. Her mind was too active, too distressed.

  At the apartment door he hesitated. ‘I want to come in, but I know that if I do it will be impossible to leave, and I promised Manolo I would be there in the morning to tell him all about tonight.’

  He took her face between his palms and kissed first her forehead, then the tip of her nose, and finally her lips.

  Tanya felt the usual flood of sensations, but she could not respond. Inocente’s confident words, and her vindictive expression, were too vivid in her mind.

  Alejandro held her from him and frowned. ‘There is something wrong. Tanya, you must tell me; I want no more barriers between us.’

  She wanted to tell him what Inocente had said, she wanted to hear him deny it, but what if he didn’t? Perhaps tomorrow she would feel better. She would have sorted out the conflict in her mind, she might even feel able to give him the benefit of the doubt, but not now, not tonight, not while Inocente’s malevolent face loomed large in her mind’s eye.

  ‘Alejandro, I promise you, it’s just tiredness. It’s not been an easy day.’

  ‘My fault because I was angry with you,’ he said sorrowfully. He slid his hand beneath the fall of her hair to her nape, his thumb caressing the soft skin behind her ear. ‘I neglected you; left you here all alone. I apologise. The truth is I was jealous of your husband, and the love you felt for him. I could not think of you without picturing you together, you in his arms making love.’

  And now she was jealous of Inocente and all those other girls he had been watching so closely tonight. Not Juanita; Juanita was his past. But he was, after all, a healthy, full-blooded male, more sensual than most. How could he fail to be attracted by them? By any girl? She already knew that he could not remain faithful to one girl at a time; always he had two on the go. How could she have faith in him?