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  ‘I want to go to him,’ sobbed Manolo, tears welling in his big brown eyes.

  Tanya took him into her arms. ‘He’ll be here any minute now, I assure you.’ She rocked him as though he were a baby, murmuring words of comfort, and, curled up in a corner of the settee, they both went to sleep.

  ‘Papá, Papá.’

  Tanya was woken by Manolo’s excited cry. He leapt up and straight into Alejandro’s waiting arms. How she wished that she could have greeted Alejandro so eagerly herself, so warmly, so lovingly. She was almost jealous of Manolo. And her time had come to leave. It was going to be the biggest wrench of her life.

  Quietly she slipped out of the room. Neither saw her go. Upstairs she picked up her suitcase and took one last look around. She had grown to love this old house, could have been completely happy living here, looking after it for Alejandro. She had thought about it a lot, had entertained such high hopes, until he had dashed them to the ground like a leaf in a storm, taken her heart and tossed it mercilessly away.

  When she finally turned he was standing in the doorway. ‘What are you doing?’ he asked gruffly.

  ‘What does it look like?’ she retorted. ‘I’m leaving. There’s no place for me here any more.’ She did not realise how despairing she sounded.

  ‘I don’t want you to go.’

  Tanya turned surprised eyes on Alejandro’s face. He was deadly serious, no hint of a smile, nothing to say, Tanya, I’ve made a mistake; I know you love me, and I want us to be together for always. Nothing like that, but nevertheless he was serious.

  ‘Why?’ She mouthed the word without any actual sound coming out.

  ‘Because—because I—I need you.’

  ‘You’re prepared to let me stay on here even though you think I don’t love you?’

  ‘We both want you to stay.’ Manolo appeared from behind his father.

  Tanya suddenly knew why Alejandro had asked her. It was for his son’s sake; Manolo did not want her to go. But it would be too much of a strain living under the same roof as Alejandro while not sharing his bed. She could not do it.

  She shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, Manolo, but I have to go home to England. I have a job and a house…’ And she was saying the same things she had said to his father.

  ‘But I love you, Tanya,’ wailed the boy, and, ‘Papá loves you too, don’t you Papá?’

  Alejandro put his hand on Manolo’s shoulder. ‘The point is, Tanya does not love us. We cannot force her to stay.’

  ‘Tanya does love me,’ cried Manolo. ‘I know she does; she told me so.’

  Tanya remembered; she had been comforting him yesterday when he couldn’t go to visit his father, and she had hugged him close and said, ‘Oh, Manolo, I love you so much.’

  ‘And she loves you too, Papá, I am sure. Don’t you, Tanya?’ The boy looked at her imploringly.

  Tanya nodded slowly, ‘Yes, Manolo, I love your papá.’

  ‘Manolo, I think you should leave the room.’ Alejandro’s voice was hoarse. ‘I want to talk to Tanya alone.’

  ‘You are going to ask her to stay?’

  Alejandro inclined his head.

  Manolo smiled. ‘Then I will go. But please don’t be long. I have waited all day for you, Papa.’

  When he had gone Alejandro stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. His eyes searched her face. ‘Would you lie to my son, Tanya?’

  ‘Of course not.’ Her eyes never wavered from his. Something told her that this was the testing time. Her heart beat louder.

  ‘You told Manolo you loved me.’

  ‘I also told you that I loved you.’

  ‘It is the truth?’

  ‘The choice is yours whether you believe me or not.’ She was not going to beg him to accept her word.

  His eyes flickered uncertainly. ‘I want to believe you, Tanya.’

  He had already said that to her.

  ‘But I was hurt once before, I thought you loved me nine years ago and then—’ he made a sound like air escaping from a balloon ‘—it was all over. You walked out of my life and disappeared without a trace.’

  ‘We have already had this conversation,’ railed Tanya. ‘And I was not the one who did the walking out. OK, we argued, and I left, but I came after you— and what did I find? That you’d gone back to Tenerife. And that was it, the end, no further word from you. So how the hell can you say that I walked out on you?’

  Alejandro frowned, a deep frown that cut into his forehead and pulled his brows together until they almost looked like one line across his face. ‘You came after me?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘Who did you speak to? Were you given no message?’

  ‘Hell, I don’t know who I spoke to; everyone at the hotel, I think. And no, I wasn’t given a message. All I was told was that you had gone home to Tenerife.’ She saw the changing expressions on his face. ‘Are you saying that you left a note for me?’

  ‘Not a note, no; it was verbal. I didn’t have time for writing letters. My father was dying; I had to get home, and quickly. But I tried to get in touch with you later…Oh I don’t know how long—a couple of weeks, or more, maybe. My father had died before I even got here, and his affairs were m such a mess there was much to do; he had left no will, nothing. But I thought you would have my message and understand. I thought you would wait for me.’

  ‘I got no message,’ she said, shaking her head, but hope suddenly riding high in her heart, ‘and when I found you missing I was devastated. When my sister was offered a job in Sheffield I went with her. I could see no point in staying around Birmingham any longer. There were too many memories.’

  He shook his head, his eyes full of pain. ‘I tried to find you. I rang everyone I could think of. I even came back over to England, but you had disappeared without trace. I assumed you did not want me to find you.’

  Tanya shuddered. If only she had known. ‘So you married Juanita?’ she asked quietly.

  He nodded.

  Tanya sighed, and they came together of mutual accord. His arms crushed her against him; his mouth found hers. Time stood still. Hearts throbbed, bodies pulsed, and Tanya felt as though she were being lifted to another planet. Life had turned full circle and she was back in the arms of the man she loved. And what was more, he loved her. Her happiness was complete.

  ‘How much did you love Peter?’ he asked when they finally drew apart. There was a faint frown on his brow, and he had obviously been thinking about this man who had been her husband.

  ‘Not as much as I love you.’ She looked at him, her eyes shining with honesty. ‘We were happy enough together, but there was none of the magic I feel with you.’

  ‘I’m glad,’ he said huskily, ‘because what I feel for you is very special too. When I came round in the hospital and saw you standing there I thought I was dreaming. After you’d rejected me on the yacht I really thought it was all over. Why did you do it?’

  ‘Why did I reject you?’ Her smile was wry. ‘Because I thought all you were after was my body, and I couldn’t handle that any longer. You’ll never know how hard it was.’

  ‘It looks as though we both made the same mistake.’

  Tanya nodded sadly. ‘Why didn’t you ever mention that you’d tried to get in touch with me?’

  He grimaced. ‘Believe me, I wanted to, many times, but usually when things were running smoothly between us, and then I’d be afraid of rocking the boat by mentioning the past. If I’d known what I know now…’

  She finished the sentence for him. ‘We would have saved ourselves a lot of heartache.’

  Alejandro nodded. ‘I entirely agree.’

  ‘And do you believe me now that I love you?’

  ‘Dios, Tanya, I need my head examining for ever disbelieving you.’ He drew her to him and kissed her. ‘Mi corazón, I promise I will never doubt anything you say to me again.’

  ‘Alejandro, can I tell you that I think you are wonderful?’

  He smiled. ‘You ar
e pretty fantastic yourself.’

  ‘I don’t mean that,’ she said, knowing he was referring to the night they had spent together. ‘I was thinking about the way you’ve brought Manolo up as your own. Not many men would do that. I’ve misjudged you. I thought you were a selfish womaniser. I thought you were stringing me along when it was really Juanita you loved. And I thought you were playing me off against Inocente. I didn’t think you were capable of loving one woman alone.’

  ‘Tanya, Tanya.’ He cupped her face between his hands. ‘There has never been anyone else for me but you. You were my first lover, and you will be my last. We will forget all the years between. I love you, Manolo loves you, and you love us. What more could a man ask for—except perhaps children of our own?’

  Tanya nodded. ‘I would like that too.’

  ‘Will you marry me, Tanya?’

  ‘Yes, Alejandro.’

  ‘You will be happy living here?’

  ‘Blissfully so.’

  ‘We will get married on March the twenty-eighth, my saint’s day.’

  Tanya frowned. ‘Your saint’s day? What do you mean?’

  He smiled. ‘Every single day is a saint’s day, and when it is your namesake then you celebrate also. It is a much bigger occasion than even your own birthday. So why not make it our wedding-day? You have three weeks to prepare yourself. Will that be enough?’

  ‘More than enough. I’d readily marry you tomorrow.’

  ‘And do my family out of all the excitement? I don’t think we dare.’ He kissed her again, and it was many minutes later when he said, ‘Manolo will be growing impatient. Let us go and tell him that he is going to get a new mamá.’

  eISBN 978-14592-6916-3

  BITTER MEMORIES

  First North American Publication 1997.

  Copyright© 1994 by Margaret Mayo.

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work In whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any Information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Hariequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.

  All characters in this book have no existence outside the Imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

  This edition published by arrangement with Hariequin Books S.A.

  ® and TM are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks Indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.

  Printed In U.S.A.

  Table of Contents

  Cover Page

  Excerpt

  About the Author

  Books by Margaret Mayo

  Title Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Copyright